Friday, March 23, 2012

Moving at a snails pace...

It's been a rough few weeks weight wise...up down up down. I've now lost 61 lbs, which is a huge accomplishment, but it felt like it took FOREVER to break out of the 270's. However, there are some things to celebrate and I've also had some help to shake things up a bit!

I just got back from a trip to Boston. I hate flying. If you've been reading my blog all along, you know I've mentioned my biggest anxiety about flying is not fitting into my seat and crowding the person next to me. Well this may sound silly, but this time...when my seat belt clicked shut and I had to tighten it a bit...I wanted to jump up and down and scream. When I was able to put the arm rest down all the way and not have to cuddle up to the guy next to me...I couldn't stop smiling. To anyone who's never been 330 lbs, or even 280 may think it's such a small, silly thing to get excited about. But it's a huge accomplishment for me. It changed my whole outlook on travelling. I was able to relax and just enjoy the flight (as much as anyone can anyway)...and not constantly be apologizing to my neighbor or trying to suck in my fat or lean harder against the window to give them room. This...was awesome.

My trip was great. It was a lot of much needed family time and lots of fun with my nieces and nephews. But the part that will shake things up for me the most was my personal training sessions with my sister Heidi. Our first workout was the hardest thing I've ever done. I imagine it was about what life would be like on the Biggest Loser ranch, except the person training me was someone I have to keep loving after they kill me haha. I think I told her "I hate you" once or twice though lol.

I've been using nautilus machines for months now and so Heidi taught me how to workout my entire body using free weights and resistance bands. It was amazing how much harder it was and how much longer afterward I was feeling sore. As payback, I made her run on the treadmill with me for a bit...which she hated as much as I do. But it was great haha. I'm excited to be back home and put everything I learned to use and see if it kicks my weight loss back in gear.

While in Boston, my family took a lot of pictures together. Seeing myself next to my sisters still depresses me a bit. It made me see how far I still have to go. But they reminded me that the last time we took pictures together, I was infinitely bigger and that I should celebrate the difference. So I'm trying to not dwell on how far I have to go so much as how far I've come.

I have 9 months until Cami's wedding and I'm determined to look good in my dress if it kills me! I want to show up in Florida and blow them all away with how different I look. It's nice to have a goal in mind. It really helps drive me. So here's hoping. Aiming to hit 200 lbs by the end of December. That's asking a lot, but I know it's possible!