Monday, April 30, 2012

Stress or Success

Yesterday ended Season 2 of my Jilly's Losers weight loss competition. It was a long one. 4 months. The top 3 finalists lost a total of 116 lbs..and I couldn't be more proud of their success :) For myself though, this last season was kind of rough. I only lost 15 lbs. The first 3 months were plagued by illness or injury half the time, which made for a nice little roller coaster on my scale. There are few things more frustrating than a plateau after having lost so much weight. Especially when I have a deadline and a goal in mind!

My sister's wedding is in 8 months and I so very badly want to be under 200 lbs by then. But at the rate of 4 lbs a month, I won't even get close. I'm trying not to let that mentality sink in, but it's hard. I want to be able to wear a dress that I actually don't dread wearing and I want to stand up there next to my sisters and not feel like the odd man out anymore. So I just have to keep pushing. I just wish there were someone behind me to help push!

The biggest stressor in my life right now is a possible move for my family. My amazing husband got offered a job in Ontario, Canada. However, we've spent 3 weeks going back and forth with 3 different companies involved, trying to sort out the mess of numbers and information regarding an international move. It's like the whole Amsterdam debacle all over again! My biggest weakness in my dieting is still my eating. I'm a big time stress eater...and when things get this gets REALLY hard not to just go nuts. I had a gain of 1.6 lbs last week, which isn't too bad..but I know that if I'm not careful it will end up being 20 and then 30. I really don't want to go back there. But it's definitely true what they say. Stress can seriously hamper weight loss efforts. It's gotten so bad lately that I can feel the physical effects of said stress. I'm hoping that by the time we move (assuming everything falls into place) and things start to fall back into a routine..that I won't have gained back 20 lbs in the process. That would only start another vicious cycle for me and I'd rather not have to break it all over again.

I haven't been going to the gym as much lately and I know it's affecting my weight loss. However, a few weeks ago I started the Couch 2 5K program and I love it. I run 3 times a week, so I feel less guilty about not being in the gym for 2 hours a day. I'm now on week 4 of the program and I'm running in 5 minute intervals. I never thought I'd be able to do that. It feels amazing. So even when the number on the scale doesn't show what I'd like it to...I still feel like I'm growing and succeeding in other areas. I'm still reaching goals and striving to be better at certain things and that helps to keep me going when the scale makes me want to quit...and say bad words lol.

So while we try and sort out this Canada mess, my Jilly's Losers will be taking a small break. I plan to keep weighing weekly just to keep myself in check, but I need some time off from running a "competition". This last season was surprisingly more stressful and dramatic, but I just kept reminding myself why I was doing it. And seeing the final numbers and how much it helped myself and so many others...just inspires me to keep going and get ready for season 3! I think I'm going to take some time to change up the rules a bit and try to make it a bit more interesting. It was hard to watch the group go from 27 people in the beginning to only 13 in the end, but as Bob Harper (biggest loser trainer) is always saying... "I can't want it for you." That's been one of the hardest things for me in my weight loss journey and something that everyone has to learn on their own. Wanting it badly enough to go for it.