Tuesday, July 17, 2012

No longer on the sidelines...

I didn't realize it had been so long since I posted.  I need to be better about that.  (Isn't that how all journal entries start haha).

Life here seems to have mostly gotten back to normal.  Nathan got his old job at Convergys back and the kids are all enrolled in school and we don't have to move...so there's been a lot less stress.  My weight loss is still hovering at 58 lbs, but I'm feeling a lot better about it than I was.  I'll tell you why!

When I really started losing my weight, I'd made a list of things I want to be able to do once I'd lost enough weight...preferrably this summer. Well over the past few weeks, my mom and my sister Heidi and her family have been in town.  And I got to cross a few of those things off my list!!

Over the past 10-12 years, I've always had to sit on the sidelines when my family went to amusement parks or did fun, physical activities because I was either too big to do them or just didn't have the energy.  It was always very depressing and I hated feeling so left out.  Well with 60 lbs less of me, it's amazing what I've been able to do in the past 3 weeks.  I may have a lot left to lose, but it felt wonderful to be able to celebrate how far I've come..with the people I love most!

On July 6, with all of my kids, my husband, my mother, my sister and her hubby and kids...not to mention a bunch of my Heaton cousins...I hiked the "Y" in Provo.  I've hiked it before, but not since I was much younger and much skinnier.  The last few times my mom took the kids, I sat it out and cheered them on when they got home.  This year, I was determined to do it, no matter how long it took me.  I had to use hiking sticks and I was the last one up and last one down...but I did it.  And it felt AMAZING!  Talk about a calorie burn.  I was sore for days, but I cannot tell you how immensely proud I felt when I was sitting at the top and looking out over the valley while the sun came up.  It was the most beautiful sight.  And next time, I aim to do it even faster :)

Later that same day, we took all the kids to Seven Peaks water park.  Also something I've done before, but usually as a spectator or someone in charge of watching the towels or babies. I couldn't fit in the inner tubes and was scared I'd break the slides or get hurt.  Not this time!!  Not only did my butt fit (YAY!), but I was able to keep up with the kids and go on almost every slide there was.  (I still avoided the tall, scary ones cause I hate them haha).  But it felt great and I wasn't worried about how fat I looked the whole time.  It sounds silly, but to me that was a huge deal.  I just had fun..and it was wonderful.

Then this past weekend we went to Lagoon Amusement Park!  Last summer, we took the kids and I walked around with my mom and watched the littler kids go on rides. It was hot and I was miserable and felt like crap the whole time.  I couldn't ride anything except for the ferris wheel and even then I was terrified something would break (which is silly, but anyway).  My goal for this summer was to lose enough weight to go to Lagoon with my kids and to ride on all the scary roller coasters with my oldest.  And I totally did it haha.  We did the upside down loopdey loops and scary, scream your guts out rides and I loved it!!  I did find that aging  has made me more susceptible to headaches and queasiness afterwards, but damned if I was gonna let that keep me from trying at least once haha.  Again, it probably sounds so silly...but to me...this was a huge deal.

I'm far from where I want to be but I am no longer sitting on the sidelines in my own life. I'm having fun with my kids and my husband and I'm living my life.  It's an incredible feeling and I don't know how I went for so long as a spectator.  I can't wait to reach some more of my goals and see all the other things I'm able to do then.  Next up....fit into the size 18 dress I bought for Cami's wedding!!!