Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Stressed...

It's true what they say about stress affecting your weight. I had a great week as far as working out and eating went and was really hoping for a 3-4 on the scale today. However, yesterday my daughter was involved in an accident on her way to school in which her leg and her bike were run over by a car and we spent the majority of the day in the hospital. She's okay..her leg is broken..but she will be okay. However, as a result, my eating has gone to crap and I've had little sleep and my stress levels are OUT OF CONTROL.

Add onto that a change in Nathan's job and changes for our family and I'm just stressed to the max. So when I weighed this morning, I was only down .8 for the week. I know it's a loss, which is better than a gain...but it just reminds me that even when I'm working my ass off..there will be weeks when my hormones and emotions are going to have other ideas.

Today starts season 12 of The Biggest Loser and my own little version I'm hosting on FB. Jilly's Losers! My starting weight is 310.6 and I'm excited to see how well I can do with a bunch of friends doing it with me. The moral support helps more than I think anyone realizes.

Now if I could get myself back into the right frame of mind and get back to the gym....

Monday, September 12, 2011

A new outlook...

I guess I haven't written in a while huh? It's been so long, it would take a novel to really update everyone on every little thing, so I'll try for the short(er) version!

After my last round of hcg, I was down to 285 lbs. (yay me). However after a battle with a kidney stone that landed me in the hospital twice and had me laid up for nearly 3 weeks...and then 3 weeks with severe chronic bronchitis...I gained back most of it. I went back up to 317 lbs. To say the least I was pretty depressed and went through a period of just not giving a shit (pardon my french). I went back to eating whatever I felt like, whenever I felt like it and decided this was just how my body was meant to look and always WILL look.

Then...something happened. I found out that Biggest Loser was having auditions in Salt Lake City and I knew I wanted to go. The thought of being away from my family for several months and having to work out for hours and hours and hours every day scared the crap out of me, but I wanted to do it. SO badly. Anyone who knows me, knows that I am terrified of crowds and of people in general, really. I hate stepping out of my comfort zone and letting people see me. So you can imagine how I felt about standing in line for hours with hundreds of random strangers and then meeting with producers of this show I'd come to love and try to convince them that I'm awesome and would be perfect for the show.

But I was determined to do it. And I shocked myself. From the moment we got into line, I began talking to the people in front of and behind me, making friends and watching myself evolve into this whole new person. I don't know if maybe it was just because these were people like me who were overweight and feeling as scared as I was..but whatever the reason, I came out of my shell. I even walked right up to a few of last seasons contestants who had stopped by to visit and had a conversation! It was a "Jill" I decided I'd really like to see more often.

I didn't get a call back to be on the show, but that day still ignited a whole new desire in me to really get serious about this...and not by going back on hcg. I want to do this the right way.

So I got me a gym membership and I bought me a BodyMedia Fit armband kind of like those the Biggest Loser contestants use to keep track of their caloric burn...and I got to work. I'm now down to 311.4 and still going. The weight loss is slower and it's hard work, but it's rewarding. I still indulge in my favorites from time to time, but I find myself consciously choosing things that are healthier because I know I can eat so much more! Just this morning, I took Emma to Einstein Bagels to stock up on their new "Bagel Thins" and Reduced Fat Shmear. 2 of those and a bottle of vitamin water and it was only about 350 calories. Subway has also become a huge addiction for me. 6 inch Subway Club on wheat with just lettuce, tomato and some fat free honey mustard and I'm in heaven. Toss in a bag of Baked Lays and you are full and only up about 480 calories. Haha I sound like an infomercial!!

So now we're up to the present. Season 12 of the Biggest Loser starts next week on Sept. 20th and I want to do my own at home kind of version since I won't be on the show. I'm inviting all of my friends and family (on facebook) to do it with me. Everyone who wants to do it will put $20 into the pot and starting weights will be posted in a private group I've created. Then every week when the show airs, everyone will take a snapshot of their scale showing their new weight and at whoever has lost the highest percentage of weight come finale time wins the whole pot!! It should be fun. But most importantly, I think it will help a lot of people that I care about (as well as myself) lose some serious weight.

So that's about it for now :) Wish me luck! Again!