Tomorrow is a really big day for me. After an 8 hour Zumba class/instruction/breakdown of all the moves involved, I will officially be certified to TEACH Zumba! I still can't believe it, honestly. Never in my life did I aspire to exercise for a living. But here I am extremely excited about it. Oh and terrified. Seriously terrified.
I've told my family and a couple of my friends that my biggest worry about tomorrow is that I will walk into Lifetime Fitness tomorrow morning and be "the fat girl"...that I will find myself surrounded by 110lb petite, athletic, gorgeous women (and maybe some hot guys? I dunno if guys teach zumba, why not! The founder does!) all dressed in their cutest workout gear. And then that when we're all doing a one hour Master class together, I'll be the only one unable to keep up with all their unlimited energy. Yes, I realize that is a HUGE assumption and exaggeration haha. But my irrational mind is worried about exactly those things!
My friends and family know what I've been through. They know that I've lost over 110lbs. They know that I work out 5-6 days a week, sometimes multiple times a day. They know that I am healthy and happy and every day getting closer to my goals. But the Zumba people won't know that. They'll see a girl walk in who still weighs well over 200lbs, is wearing compression gear for function instead of cute and colorful athletic gear that shows off every curve..and is most likely going to smack herself in the face with her own boobs when the jumping gets going lol. Some of them will probably have the first thought of, "Hey, good for her!" and some will probably think, "What the hell is that fat chick doing here?" And all of these things terrify me. It probably isn't helping me to know that the woman teaching the certification class is none other than Lindsey Taylor who is huge in the Zumba world and has even been in a music video with the founder himself. This girl is absolutely gorgeous and extremely fit and talented. So while I'm SO excited to meet and learn from her (I've seen a zumba workout dvd that she did the teaching on and loved her!)...I'm also very intimidated.
Everyone keeps telling me I'm being silly and that it will be fine...and I know they're right. But I also know that I'll still be terrified until that first song starts and it's time to work.
The bottom line is this: I am ready. I am still 50-60lbs overweight. I have a lot of excess skin that actually hurts when I jump a lot or shake my hips really fast. It will be a while before I'm ready to teach any advanced Zumba classes with all the high speed, jumpy/bouncy routines instead of the beginner/Zumba Gold classes. But I am READY. I workout 5-6 days a week. I do strength training 1-2 times a week. As my mother keeps insisting (and I keep denying) I am the most "Fit" and "healthiest" person in my family (Though I fully expect Heidi to catch up quickly and kick my butt once she's back to exercising!). I am GOOD at Zumba. Music and rhythm is in my DNA and while I've got some seriously bad white girl moves, I know how to give someone a good workout and keep the beat while doing it. I'm ready. I'm as ready as I will ever be. And I've had the most amazing mentor to make sure that I'm exactly that. I've been practicing at the gym, I've been practicing in my basement, I've been practicing while doing the laundry! I hear music and I immediately start thinking about how a routine might play out to the specific beat. Is it too fast? Too slow? Too complicated? I've only been taking this class for a year, but I'm ready.
I'm ready...and I'm going to rock this! I hope :) Now let's just hope I can actually sleep tonight so that I have the energy to show them what I can do...and to show them that I deserve to be a certified Zumba Instructor :)
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