So after that horrific fall off the wagon (which lasted a good week and a half), I decided to rewind and go back to phase 1 of the South Beach Diet. I know that's not how it's intended to be done, but I feel like I had no other choice, honestly. My cravings were off the chart. I have had much worse weeks in the past, in that I didn't go on a Big Mac binge or eat out every night. But I was inhaling sweets like there was no tomorrow. I can't even tell you how many donuts and girl scout cookies I ate over a one week span. I'm glad I didn't keep count.
The only GOOD thing about the past week and a half is that I haven't stepped on my scale. Well okay two good things. I didn't step on MY scale, but I did do my body composition again at my Burn It class and I've lost another 2% of my body fat in the last 3 weeks. So I'm glad to see that my binge on sugar hasn't completely ruined me. I'm not going to step on my scale though until I've got a few good, clean eating days under my belt.
I started yesterday. And I have to say that doing SBD when your house isn't stocked for it...is VERY hard. And boring. The grocery shopping for the week had been done while I was hungry and we bought lots of unhealthy stuff. The next trip isn't until next week. So I have to make due with what we've got. I've been eating grape tomatoes like they're candy. Better than actual candy I suppose, huh?
I really wish I could understand my brain and why I do this to myself. This self-sabotage stuff is getting really old. I'm so close to hitting 200 and it's almost like my subconscious is afraid of hitting such a huge milestone. God knows why...it would be AWESOME. Maybe I feel pressured. Between my weight loss group and this blog, I know everyone is watching and waiting. And while I love that support and encouragement, it's also a lot of pressure that I have invited onto my own shoulders.
Why does food have to be such an issue. Instead of weight loss being 80% food and 20% exercise, why can't it be the other way around? I'd have this thing done and over with by now! I used to HATE exercise with a passion and could come up with any excuse to avoid it. Over time I became addicted to it and refuse to go without it. Why can't my addiction to food change that drastically? It's hardly fair. I mean sure, I don't eat the way I used to with the Big Macs and french fries twice a week. I don't drink soda except for once in a very rare while and my stomach has begun to punish me for fried foods or overindulgence in dairy. So I guess that's a change...but to me it's not enough. Why can't I stop craving bakery goods and bready cheesy goodness. WHY lol. I know life wouldn't be as fun without those things and that it's okay to have them in moderation blah blah blah. But that's my problem. I allow myself to have a little bit and then BOOM! I've slid down that slope and I'm eating everything in sight.
Maybe one day I'll find a balance between the strict and boring phase 1 of SBD and a healthy diet that includes the occasional splurge. I always seem to go one extreme or the other and it sucks.
No comments:
Post a Comment