Before and After...

What does that mean exactly. "Before and after" what? For most of the world, the first thought upon hearing those words or seeing someone's "before and after" pictures...whether it be for weight loss or any other drastic change...is that the "before" is bad and the "after" is good. Our first thought is, "Wow! You look so much better! Good for you!". But have you ever really stopped to think about the "in between"? Or the fact that there really is no "after" when it comes to losing weight and becoming healthier?

Before and after isn't just a picture. It's oh so much more than that.

Before...

I was morbidly obese.
I was depressed.
The most exercise I got was grocery shopping.
I ate whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted.
I wore a size 28.
I wore clothes that were baggy to hide myself.
I couldn't climb the stairs without feeling like I was dying.
I couldn't fit in most chairs.
I couldn't play with my kids for very long.
I snuck food and often ate in my car.
I had no friends because I didn't want anyone to see me.
I didn't feel attractive or worth anything.
I could go on, but I won't....this list is long enough.

After...

Well...frankly...there is no after. I'm not done! I never will be...because I'm not on a diet that will one day end with me being my ideal weight forever without having to work on it anymore. HA! If only, huh?

So how about this.

Now...

I'm only a few lbs over being labeled as "overweight".
I am the happiest I've ever been.
I exercise almost daily, whether in someone else's class or teaching my own!
I've learned how to enjoy eating healthier without feeling like I'm deprived all the time.
I wear a size 16.
I workout in leggings and a tank top and feel pride in my body and what it can do.
I can take the stairs running (though I still hate them!)
I can sit wherever I want...comfortably. AND I can cross my legs!
I can keep up with my kids no matter what they're doing and I set a good example for them!
I only eat in the car when on road trips and I'm not ashamed of what I eat (though we all have bad days!)
I have more friends than I can count and they support and love me in my journey.
I feel sexy! And I love myself and know that I am worth the love of others.
And finally...(for now anyway)...I am PROUD of myself.

But as great as all of those things are...they are far from being an "after". That list doesn't talk about the in between. I have worked HARD to get to where I am now and will have to continue to do so for the rest of my life. I will never be "done" with working out or "done" with eating fewer calories and having to exercise control over WHAT goes into my mouth and how much. If I stop doing those things...I will go back to the "before". And I don't want that. I am a food addict if ever there was one and I struggle every single day with cravings and the desire to eat anything and everything. Sugar is my crack.

I have been running Jilly's Losers (my online weight loss community) for 6 years now. In those 6 years, 310 (yes...I counted) different people have joined and given it a try. 310. That's a lot of people. Some of them stuck around and have become like my second family, though most of us have never met. A lot, however, found that it wasn't for them and only stayed for one season. It made me sad going through 33 seasons worth of names and not remembering so many of them.

Do you know how many "before and after" pictures I have on my computer from 33 seasons? That is A LOT of befores. But if we're getting nitpicky...there aren't really any "afters". I can't think of a single person who joined Jilly's Losers...changed their life, got healthy, lost weight and then said, "well, I'm all done. Thanks for the help!" and left forever without ever having to struggle again. We're all a work in progress. Every single one of us "losers" still has work to do.

I've seen countless stories in the past 6 years. I've seen severely overweight people become thin. I've seen couch potatoes become gym rats and marathon runners. I've seen people recover from injuries and life changing surgeries. I've seen people completely transform their entire lives in more ways than you can imagine and it's BEAUTIFUL to watch. But if you think it's been 6 years of nothing but the positive then you obviously haven't given it a shot yourself yet ;)

I've also seen determination turn to frustration turn to "I QUIT!" I've seen hundreds of pounds lost only to be regained again. I've seen healthy, hard-working athletes succumb to injury/illness. I've seen months and years of hard work seem to come undone as a result of work, stress, death, birth, sugar, addiction, exhaustion.....and any other number of things.

I've seen...LIFE.

And life is what happens between the "before and after".

I am beyond proud of all of the "works in progress" that I have had the opportunity to meet and work with. I have loved getting to know so many people and hearing their successes and their struggles. Every pound or inch lost...every burpee or pushup or mile run (or whatever crazy challenge I've made them do!)...has changed lives and pushed ME to be better. I am inspired daily by those I call my "losers" and while there may be times I feel overwhelmed or tired of the work involved...I wouldn't trade my losers for anything.

So here are just a few of them :) Each of them has worked their butts off (literally) to get to where they are now and I have LOVED watching their journeys. I'm grateful that I've gotten to walk alongside them for even a part of those journeys and I know I've made lifelong friends because of it.

This is Chrissy "before"! She started her journey long before she became a "loser" and she has inspired me every day since we met. She's a mom and an incredible photographer...and she is HILARIOUS!

NOW! Chrissy is down 135lbs and is as badass as they come. I asked her what is something she loves to do now that she couldn't before. In true Chrissy style, she said, "I love that I can sit cross-legged in chairs now. I spend so much time with my legs twisted under me and it's the best thing ever." It's the little things.

This is Kate "before"! She is a mom of 3 and works with the children's ministry at her church. She and I met in a workout class at our gym a few years ago and have been close friends ever since. I don't even recognize the girl in this picture!

NOW! Kate has worked extremely hard (this past year especially) to make exercise a regular habit and to entirely change the way she looks at food. She has lost 45lbs! She is now an avid runner and although she hates Zumba, we are still the best of friends haha. THOSE ABS THOUGH!!!

This is Cody! I've shared his story before, but it is worth repeating. Cody is the reason I finally gave the ketogenic diet a try this year and subsequently lost so much weight. He did it himself first and lost close to 100lbs! He has been such a wonderful motivator and source of knowledge for me and I know his entire life has changed because of the changes he made in himself and his lifestyle.

This is Melissa "before"! She often shares the story of being called a "petite plus sized woman" when this picture was taken at her son's 8th grade graduation several years ago and how that comment set her on the path that got her to where she is now!

NOW! Melissa lost 67 lbs to reach her goal weight and has been maintaining for months now...but she still sticks around my group for support. Little does she know that she's the one supporting us. She is strong and determined and doesn't let anything stop her. She recently completed her first marathon and qualified to run in the Boston Marathon in 2018!! She retook her "before" picture at the same son's high school graduation this year and the difference is stunning. Especially in her smile :)

This is Shari! I met Shari in a Zumba class at the gym. She was quiet and reserved but she never missed a class. I watched her from the back as she kept coming back smaller...and smaller, the smile on her face growing bigger and bigger. I admired her long before we ever said hello. Now she is one of my very best friends. We are workout buddies and each other's support system...and if there were a "Foodies anonymous" group, we'd probably be each other's sponsor. Despite a tough year, she has made her health a priority and I'm beyond proud of how far she's come. She's lost 64lbs! She pushes me to be better every day.

These "before" and "now" shots make my heart happy. Seeing my friends happy...makes my heart happy. But the best "before" and "after" of this whole thing is that before I met these people...and all 310 that have come through Jilly's Losers...I was a wreck. After meeting them, my life has changed for the better in more ways than I could ever count. Each of them has taught me something(s) and each of them has carried me through my own tough spots more than they know. I'm grateful we are all a part of one another's "in between".