BREAKTIME! WOOHooo...??

I've been running Jilly's Losers for more than 2 years now and while I absolutely LOVE doing so, it can get really exhausting.  Weekly weigh-ins, planning challenges, tracking everyone's weight loss and body measurements and all sorts of other numbers....whew, I'm tired just typing it.  It has truly become my "job" and I love it.  I've never been so passionate about anything in my life (aside from my family obviously) and it feels so good to have something like that taking up my time.

But now season 8 is over and I GET A BREAK!!  A two week one at that!!  It's both a great thing and a horrible thing all at the same time.  With Thanksgiving coming up next week, I had to decide if I should start up season 9 right away and make everyone try to be good over the holiday...or if I should wait until the Tuesday afterward.  Normally the plan is to keep going over Thanksgiving and use the weigh-ins as motivation for everyone to go easy on the turkey, potatoes and pie!  But what usually ends up happening is we all have a gain anyway and then we just feel depressed when we have to get on the scale haha.  And since Thanksgiving is traditionally only one day of eating too much, it's usually pretty easy to get whatever is gained right back off.

Christmas time is a whole other story.  Most people tend to see the whole month of December as a free for all with parties every week and plates of goodies passed around...not to mention all the chocolate filling our stockings!! (and our kids stockings...AHEM).  The December holiday period is MUCH harder to navigate on our own so that's when I decided to really focus the next season for my group.

But in the meantime...I have this 2 week break that I have to worry about.  My brain is excited because I don't have to plan any challenges or stress over the day to day of things.  My body excited because I can ease up a tad on the strict diet I'd imposed on myself for the past 4 weeks.  (We'll just say that I had a massive food hangover today from the amount of indulging I did yesterday.)  My body is also excited because while I LOVE working out 6 days a week for 2-3 hours a day...I don't feel like I HAVE to.  I have a serious addiction to it though, so I probably will anyway, but I like having the option haha.  This 4 week season lost me 11.2 lbs and I feel AMAZING...but I also feel very drained.  Physically.  Emotionally. Mentally.  Just drained.  This will be a nice way to re-energize for the couples season that starts on Dec. 3!!

But taking a break that lasts a whole 2 weeks honestly scares the crap out of me.  One thing I have most definitely learned over the last 2-3 years is that if I'm not being held accountable to someone, somewhere...I have a VERY hard time staying on track and I slide right off pretty quickly.  I've been wearing my BodyMedia armband for as long as I've been running Jilly's Losers.  After about a year of wearing it and losing weight, I decided I didn't need it anymore.  I could do it on my own.  I didn't need to track my calorie burn or what I ate.  Nope!  I was a pro!  HAHAHA.  After plateauing for more months than I can remember, I put it back on.  Have worn it every day since.  My arm is dented and it's a permanent accessory on my body but it keeps me in line.

That's what weekly weigh-ins with this group do for me.  They keep me in line and smack me upside the head when I mess up.  I'm terrified that if I don't have that accountability looming over me, I'm going to eat my way through every food group (you know...the important ones like chocolate, chips, french fries and CHEESE!) until I've regained all the weight I spent the last 4 weeks losing and probably more.  And believe me, it's totally possible.  I've done it before!

But if I remember correctly, I recently posted that I would really love to be in One-derland by New Years. And frankly, if I'm going to be able to do that...I can't afford a backslide right now.  So I'm especially grateful this Thanksgiving season for the wonderful friends and family in my life who have pushed me and inspired me and sometimes drug me by the hair through the hard times...because I know they'll get me through these 2 weeks and far beyond.  I am truly blessed.

Frustrated with success...

That sounds so stupid now that I've written out the words.  It really does.

Today I finally broke the 220's.  I have been stuck there for months and today I finally weighed in at 218.6, which is a huge deal for me.  So why am I not jumping for joy and being happy about that?

I've lost 112 lbs to date, and that's great.  But it's also been a VERY slow process.  That's healthier, right? But still, this hasn't been an overnight thing for me.  I have had lots of plateaus and I've lost the same 10 lbs over and over at different points in my journey.  In any given week, I usually have more good days than bad when it comes to my eating, but I can rarely go more than a few days without either going out to eat or indulging on something that's on the less healthy side.  And despite that, I've always managed to lose a pound or two and press forward.  So why am I throwing a fit now?

I'll tell you!!!

3 weeks ago, I started a 4 week mini season in Jilly's Losers.  Winner take all, hardcore, kick your butt every day kind of season.  I have never won a single season of Jilly's Losers and that's okay because it's never been about the money.  But this time I really wanted to win it!  Mostly because that would mean that I was able to really buckle down and tough things out and do well for more than a handful of days at a time.  So I told myself that it was just 4 weeks and I wasn't going to go out to eat and I wasn't going to have a weekly cheat day where I go nuts.  I was just going to go balls to the wall and give it my all for those 4 weeks.

And I have.

There was one bad day in the last 3 weeks where I was stressed over something and may have eaten half a bag of Wavy Lays and a slice or two of cake. But that was it.  Other than that one wobble, I have been very near perfect with my eating.  I haven't eaten out.  I've made sure to eat a good healthy breakfast and then eat something every 3-4 hours (always a protein with a carb!!).  I've not eaten after 8 or 8:30pm.  I've not given in to late night cravings.  I've been drinking 100oz of water a day.  I've kept to my workout schedule, usualling logging at LEAST 8 hours a week in the gym or with my trainer.  I've gotten my 8 hours of sleep.  Life has been incredibly good.  My husband and kids have been VERY supportive and helpful and I made it through Halloween without eating a single snickers or reese's pb cup.  I may have snuck a few tootsie rolls, but that's not nearly the same!!  These past 3 weeks have very literally been the best I have had since I started this journey.

With all of that, I was sure I'd lose insane amounts of weight.  And the first week I did.  I lost 4.8 lbs.  That's INCREDIBLY good for me.  I think the most I've ever lost in a week is 5 something.  I was really excited. And then several people in my group started posting losses of 8-12lbs!!  I was SOOOO happy for them!  It's so incredible to watch people start their journeys and to see that it's working.  I can't describe the beaming pride I feel watching people change in my group.  But I'd also be lying if I said that I wasn't totally jealous! haha.  I've never seen numbers like that.  Not even when I first started.  But I kept going and made it through week 2.

Week 2 I lost 3.4lbs.  Another great loss for me.  2 great weeks in a row is really rare for me and I was so proud of myself.  And then again everyone else posted these huge inspirational numbers!  And I watched as my name slowly dipped down the list.  But again I told myself it wasn't over yet and I wasn't going to give up.

Week 3 was a bit tougher workout wise because my trainer/zumba instructor was out of town on vacation which threw me off a bit.  I still got in 8 hours at the gym though, which I'm pretty proud of!  My eating was still pretty near perfect though.  No wobbles.  So when I weighed in today I expected another 3-5lb week.  I had EARNED a 3-5lb week!  My face completely dropped when I saw I was only down 1.4.  I'm pretty sure I swore at my scale.  I checked it 4 or 10 times and the number wouldn't change.  1.4lbs in 7 days is pretty damn awesome and if anyone in my group lost that much and was upset about it I'd be telling them to celebrate their successes!!!  And yet here I was about to throw my scale out the window.

I was really mad.  I just could not understand how I could be working so hard and doing so well and the scale still won't do what I want it to.  Everyone else was having 2-5lb losses and here I was sliding even further down the totem pole.  UGH!

For about 30 seconds I was saying eff it.  I'm done.  I'm not going to win this so why even bother trying.  I'm going to McDonald's for a Big Mac (which by the way would make me physically ill now if I tried to eat one).  And then I took a breath and remembered WHY I created Jilly's Losers in the first place.  It's not about the number on the scale...and my number is 112 lower than it was when I started!  It's definitely not about the money, though nobody hates that part I'm sure haha. It's about changing peoples lives.  It's about changing MY life.  It's about becoming the best version of ourselves and being HAPPY with who we are.  It's about being healthier and living our lives to the fullest.

So I shrugged off the McDonald's talk and made myself a wrap and some baby carrots for lunch and chugged down my Vitamin Zero...and I felt better. Because even if after this last week of competition...I don't end up the winner?  I'll be able to say that I was successful.  I'll be able to celebrate a great month of weight loss that was a result of great decisions...and I will know that I did my very best.  And THAT is all that matters.

Snap back to reality....

....oh, there goes gravity..  Oops sorry, was channeling Eminem for a second there. But seriously.  Reality.  Ugh.

I've been back from BLR Chicago for about 5 weeks now and it's been really tough.  I did really well my first few days home and then it was like all my cravings kicked in at once and I couldn't eat clean for more than a day at a time!  Talk about frustrating.  The tough workout schedule pretty much stuck with me though and I've been really proud of how hard I've been working.

Right before I left for Chicago, I started getting some personal training from Dee (my zumba instructor) and ended up deciding to stick with that after I got home.  She's amazing.  She's really helped me to strengthen my core and to tone up my body quite a lot over the past month.  On Mondays we lift together at the gym, rotating back/biceps with chest/triceps...and then (usually) on Fridays I go to her house and she spends an hour kicking my butt with all the pilates equipment she has.  I had no idea how hard pilates was.  But the great thing is being able to see the difference in how I do things now vs. the first time I went there.  It's such a great non-scale way of measuring things and I really needed that.

I had hit my 100lbs lost mark when my mom was visiting this summer.  I spent the next few months after that bouncing back and forth between 100 and 104 or so.  Talk about frustrating.  I ran a season of Jilly's Losers in that time and when we did our final weigh out, I'd lost like half a pound.  The only thing that kept me from wanting to just give up was knowing that I had also been gaining muscle.  I can feel it and it's GREAT!

However great the muscle buildup might be though I knew I had to get the scale moving again.  My last plateau lasted almost a year and I was NOT gonna have a repeat of that. So I started up a mini-season of Jilly's Losers. 4 weeks, hardcore, no excuses, winner takes all.  We're talking a decent chunk of change people.  Now...in the 2+ years that I've been running this group, I have never won a single season.  Sure, I've lost the most weight over time, but I've never actually WON.  I've come close...but I want to win!!  And for the first time I really feel the drive to do so.  I'm more determined than I think I've ever been.

So I sat my husband and kids down and told them I needed their help.  They have permission to stop me if they see me reaching for something unhealthy haha.  I also explained to them that we won't be eating out for a month but then we can go celebrate if we all do a good job.  The great thing about this too is that they've been eating more healthy with me!  Having their support has made this SOOO much easier.  This first week of the mini-season I really buckled down.  My workouts were the same as usual, but my eating was near perfect.  And today it paid off on the scale.  4.8 lbs.  I'm down to 223.4 which is the lowest I've been since starting this journey.  107lbs lost now!  I am SO excited to see my hard work paying off again.  It helps me to want to stick with it.  I REALLY want to get out of the 220's.

This won't be an easy season though.  I've got some serious competition!  I have to say it's great to see the motivation coming back in my group.  It was a tough summer for a lot of people and seeing them get fired up again makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

I really miss being in Chicago and having my meals planned/made for me, but it's nice to see that I do in fact have the ability to control myself at home when I really put my mind to it.  Now to just keep it up.  Hmm...I wonder if I can break 200 by New Years?

Biggest Loser Resort - Final Day :(

Today was such a jumble of emotions for me.  I woke up nervous about our weigh-out and about our last chance workout, knowing that it would most likely be the hardest one of the week.  I was also really sad to think that it was my last day here with all these incredible people who have truly become my family.

Our weigh out was at 6:45 and Lisa was doing them.  She was so funny, she covered the InBody (scale/body composition scale thingy) so that we couldn't obsess over the number while standing there for 45 seconds while it did its thing lol.  I had decided before I went in there, however, that I wasn't going to worry about the scale #.  I had put on a few lbs before going in for our initial weigh in on Sunday due to travel, eating out, water weight and clothing, so I knew that wouldn't be a good gauge of my true loss this week.  But here are the really cool stats that DO matter :)

My body fat went from 97.7lbs to 90.8lbs.
My Lean body mass (muscle/bone/skin) went from 140lbs to 142lbs (YAY!)
My BMI went from 34.1 to 33.4
My Percentage of Body Fat went from 41.1% to 39%
My arms got bigger, my legs and trunk got smaller
And my Basal Metabolic Rate (The # of calories I burn in a day just existing) went up by 20 cals/day!

Losing 7lbs of body fat in a week is pretty amazing and I'm proud of it.  I could not have worked any harder than I did.  Amy lost 10 lbs of body fat and I'm SO proud of her!  The best part was when she realized she'd moved from "Obese" to "Overweight" and jumped up screaming "I'M OVERWEIGHT!" hahahaha.  Love that girl.

After breakfast was our last chance workout.  We knew it would be 2 hours long and we knew Lisa and Erin were running it.  Lisa is by far the scariest/toughest trainer here and we knew it was going to be hardcore.  They call it last chance for a reason.

We started out in the pool and just swam laps for 30 minutes.  Most people jogged the length of the pool, but Dayna lent me her goggles so I could swim it.  It felt great to be in my element for a while.  David (my new adopted grandpa) has nicknamed me "fish" lol.  30 minutes of continuous lap swimming doesn't sound like much, but I was jello when I got out.  We then had 10 minutes to change into workout clothes.  That in itself was a workout.  Try getting OUT of wet compression gear (which I swam in) and then INTO dry compression gear while your skin is still wet.  The amount of grunting and groaning coming from our lockerroom was just hilarious.

We headed into the cardio room and each had to pick a machine.  Most of us ended up on ellipticals, bikes or treadmills since we were going to be on one machine for the entire class.  We then did the following circuit...FOUR TIMES.

And when two trainers are watching you the entire time...you push hard.  I nearly went flying off my elliptical.
But as hard as that was, nothing could have prepared me for the very last part of our workout.  We went into the big gym and were instructed to get two 10lb dumbells and a mat.  That's it.  I didn't think it would be too bad until I looked over at what we were going to be doing.

Doing this workout on fresh muscles would have been hard.  Doing it after all we've done this week and after what we'd already done this morning...was just hell.  I got through the chest presses and jump squats okay the first time, but as I started to do my first set of chest flys, 10lbs was proving to be way too much weight.  I expected one of the trainers to bring me some 8lb weights.  Nope.  Instead, Lisa came over and got down next to me and talked me through every single rep.  When it started to get hard, she gave me a little help.  But she did NOT let me quit.  Rows and side lunges were okay, but when I saw "shoulder press" I started to cry.  My shoulders are my weakest muscle group and normally I can only do 5-8lbs and only for a few reps.  Imagine alternating 15 shoulder presses and 25 high knees for THREE MINUTES STRAIGHT.  I was pushing as hard as I could and very literally felt like I could not get my muscles to extend my arms.  Poor Erin couldn't even look at me, she said she would have started crying herself lol.  But Lisa was my savior.  She didn't leave my side.  She kept her hands under my elbows and gave me just enough of a nudge each rep to get me through it until I'd done them all.  I made it through the last two groups and we all collapsed to the floor gasping for air.  And then she said "Ready? We're doing it again."  I about died right there.  This time, she shortened each group to 2 minutes, but it wasn't any easier.  Lisa made sure to come to me everytime one of my harder exercises came up and she got me through.  I loved her more in that moment than I'd loved anyone all week it seemed.  I was on my back on the floor, ready to do my chest flys and I was just sobbing.  I begged her, "Please don't let go" as she held onto my wrists.  She said, "I got you.  You can do this.  Let's go."  And she stayed for every rep.  As we pushed through the hardest sets, Katy Perry's "Roar" came on over the speakers and it just fueled my rage and my determination to get through it.  Needless to say I survived, but it was by far the hardest workout of my entire week.  I was so glad when it was over but I was also SO grateful to Lisa for getting me through what seemed, at first, impossible to me.  It was an amazing accomplishment.

Lunch today was incredile.  Probably my favorite lunch of the week.  They were turkey wraps with turkey bacon and avacado and spinach....as well as some roasted red pepper soup.  It was just what I needed after such a kill-ya-dead workout.  I'll miss having all my meals prepared for me!  It's nice to know that what I'm eating is good tasting but also completely healthy...and I didn't have to make it! haha

For the first time all week, we got TIME OFF today.  We had 4 hours between lunch and graduation.  Amy and I got showered and then I went to her room to hang out.  We turned Titanic on the tv and both fell asleep haha.  It was a pretty short nap, but it was so very badly needed.  Then our dear, new friend, Melissa came over and we all just hung out in Amy's bed for an hour.  It's amazing how much more we've learned to appreciate our time while being here.  Every minute counts and every minute we had to just breathe...was a gift.  Melissa is just so incredible and I know the three of us will keep in touch.  Sad to be leaving all these incredible people tomorrow.

4pm was graduation time and amazingly enough I didn't cry.  Probably because I'd sweat out all the liquids I had in me lol.  We got to watch the dvd of our week here and Betty gave us all some "I survived" t-shirts and a few gifts. I'm so glad she was the one to send us off through graduation as she has been the biggest part of our week.  Words can't describe how much I'm going to miss having that daily dose of inspiration that she brings by just being there.

I'm so grateful that we get to keep in touch with the staff here after we leave.  I'll need it.  There is no one like them.  I cannot recommend this experience enough.  We did the formal graduation stuff and then just took lots of pictures together.

David and Linda are my new grandparents.  I've adopted them.  Though Linda says she doesn't do babysitting hahaha.  They are the funniest couple ever.  They worked so hard this week and they are truly an example to me and to anyone who meets them.  They are living proof that it is never too late to do something like this.  I love them to pieces and will miss having their influence and humor around.

Dayna is like my baby sister.  She's 22 and got this trip as an amazing gift from her grandmother.  She will be staying here until Mid-December.  She dropped everything in her life and decided to come make herself a priority.  I CANNOT WAIT to see her progress here.  She is motivated and determined and I know she's going to be completely transformed by the end of her stay.  Love love love this beautiful girl.

There were so many other incredible people here, but I don't have all the pictures yet and there's just too much to write!!  But I love each and every one of them and wish them all the very best as they continue their journeys at home.

After some dinner (and some delicious coconut vanilla creme brulee!!!)...

...a few of the girls and I decided to break out of the "ranch" and go for a drive.  It was nice to just get out for a bit and hang out and laugh.  We found that Itasca, IL really is in the middle of nowhere because there's NOTHING to do! haha.  It was still a good time though and I'm glad we finally had the chance to just talk and get to know each other a bit more before we go.

And now the day is over and it's time to pack up and go home.  I miss my hubby and my babies more than I can say.  It's been very hard to be away from them for an entire week, but I know that I'm heading home a better person, a better wife and a better mother.  I will miss all of the people I met here and the things that they taught me, but most of all I will miss my Amy.

I couldn't have asked for a better friend and partner this week.  "Thank you" just doesn't even come close to covering how I feel.  I owe her so much for all she did this week to keep me going when so much of me just wanted to curl up in bed and check out of the experience completely.  She is the most determined person I know and I am so very proud of all she accomplished this week.  I hope she is too.  I love you girl.  Thank you for experiencing this with me.  I am truly a better person because of you.

As Betty told us all week long...

"Life: Limitless, inevitable, fearless and endless."

I'd like to add...."And full of possibilities."  Thank you Biggest Loser Resort Chicago for the hardest, most exhausting and most unforgettable week of my life.  I will never forget you.

Biggest Loser Resort - Day 6!

Today was amazing in so many ways.  I think maybe because it was our last full day of workouts and our last workout with our head trainer, the amazing Betty :)  We've all gotten so close as a group and we're getting sad that it's coming to an end.  It just made us appreciate everything a little bit more today, I think.

We started today with "Smackdown"!  We were so excited to get to do a boxing/kickboxing class.  Unfortunately since this is still a brand new resort, they didn't have the boxing gloves yet for us, so we didn't get to go all out, but it was a lot of fun and a great stress reliever.  Not to mention HARD.  Imagine doing two jabs, a squat, a sidekick and then a burpee.....over and over and over.  The sweat (which is both stylish and free Betty says) flowed freely.  But it was a fun workout for sure.  Lisa, the trainer, does this stuff all the time and used to be a hardcore power lifter as well.  She's TOUGH.  I wouldn't want to run into her in a back alley haha.

After an hour of that, we had breakfast and I had to chuckle a little bit.  Something that all of us have noticed this week after detoxing from our usual diets...is that fruit tastes MUCH sweeter.  It's almost like a dessert.  And this morning they served cantaloupe with breakfast.  I hate cantaloupe.  I always have.  Like....seriously hated it.  But I was really hungry and that's what there was, so I decided to take a bite....and then a bunch more until it was gone.  It tasted so much better than I remember it EVER tasting.  Now if only grapefruit could make this same change on my tastebuds!

After breakfast, we went for our morning outdoor workout.  We all knew what it was because they'd told us when we ran on Monday that we'd have to do it again on Friday to see how we compared.  I was really nervous because this time we weren't running it on fresh legs.  I was already sore and exhausted as hell before we even started.  I decided to just make sure that I at least did the same distance that I had on Monday, even if I couldn't jog as much of it.  I barely managed, and holy crap was it hard....but it felt so great to know that even after all I've put my body through this week...I could still crank out almost 6 miles in 90 minutes.  My body can apparently do lots of things that I didn't know it could.  Who knew!  I was the most proud of Amy though.  She was determined to crush her Monday distance and she did...by more than a mile.  That girl LAPPED ME hahaha.  I tried to outrun her when I saw her coming up behind me but she blew past me pretty quick. I want to be like her when I grow up!

Before a delicious lunch of baked chicken and risotto..and some AMAZING potato artichoke soup that I'm trying to get the recipe for...we had a lecture with Lisa.  We got to talk a lot about fitness and workout gear and what to look for in a personal trainer and it was a lot of fun.  She said that when looking for a trainer, you should make sure they can do 3 basic things.  A PROPER squat...a lunge (both knees at 90 degrees) and a full pushup.  Because if a trainer can't lift their own body weight how can they help you lift yours?  Of course we all asked her to demonstrate and got to watch her do 4-5 guy pushups haha.  Man she's impressive.  I also want to be like HER when I grow up haha.

We were supposed to get a zumba workout today, which I had been looking forward to for quite a while.  I was really bummed to hear that the zumba instructor is out of town at a zumba convention of all things.  Betty promised us a fun workout in its place.  This is what it looked like BEFORE we started...

But very quickly, this playground turned into Betty's torture chamber.  We were using the equipment to do pushups and planks and abdominal crunches and dips and running around going up and down the slides.  Holy hell it was HARD!  And there was some poor little girl there with her dad trying not to get run over lol.  I will never look at a playground the same.  But Betty showed us that no matter where you are, you can ALWAYS find a way to get in a workout!  There's no excuse!

Our last workout of the day was our last one with Betty, and while she kicked our butts with some cardio and resistance band intervals, she let us end on the most awesome note....dragging her down the hall by resistance bands.  If you've ever seen Biggest Loser you can probably picture Jillian holding onto some bands that are wrapped around a person's waist and using all her weight and strength to hold them back as they try to run.  Yup...we did that.  Down a really long hall and back.  I think I did a decent job of giving her a run for her money but man was it a muscle burner.  It was SO FUN though!  We got her sweating pretty good by the time we'd all done it.  I'm going to miss her most of all I think.  (Ignore the fact that my tank top was pulled down under my sports bra by the resistance bands lol.  It was definitely a wardrobe malfunction kind of day for me.  I also found out that I'd had my capris on inside out for our playground workout hahaha)

After a nice long stretch, we got to dinner.  This was the one I'd been nervous about all week.  When the dietician called me before my trip, they asked if there's any food I don't like.  I told her seafood, BUT I also told her that I was willing to try anything while I'm here.  I wanted to try  new recipes and new tastes and just open myself to new experiences food wise.  Tonight was salmon night.  Going into the dining hall I was already feeling nauseated from our workouts and knowing I was going to eat fish wasn't helping.  But I made myself take a bite.  And WOW was I surprised.  I wolfed that thing down.  It was so unbelievably good.  So many other people had switched out the salmon for other things tonight, but I'm so glad I just sucked it up and tried it.  I'll have to learn to make it at home.  I'm sure my hubby will love that.  He loves seafood, but I refuse to make it.  Here's to some new dinners when I get home!

After dinner, we were supposed to have a movie night, but no one was really in the mood, so we just sat around for a good hour or so chatting with Mark.  I'm so glad we did that instead.  He is so funny and just easy to talk to.  He has some great stories and I really could just sit and talk with him for hours lol.  You know, if he didn't have a life outside of work that is haha.  Poor guy was so nice to stick around and chat with us for so long.  Just another person I've met this week that I have learned so much from and that I hope to stay in touch with after we've all gone our separate ways.

Tomorrow morning is our weigh-out, followed by our last chance workout.  Kind of in the wrong order, but we all wanted to weigh BEFORE we eat haha.  I'm excited to see the results.  But for now...bedtime!!!

Biggest Loser Resort...Day 5!

Today was unbelievably hard, but I'm ending it feeling absolutely amazing..both physically and mentally. Well..more mentally than physically (if you're not sore when you're here, you're not doing it right)...but you know what I mean.

The massages last night were wonderful, but we still woke up really sore and extremely tired.  Even with 8 hours of sleep, our bodies still feel like they're running on empty.  We're working out 4-5 hours a day and they're HARD workouts.  Every single one leaves you feeling like you're going to die.  You feel extremely accomplished when you survive them but man...I've never wanted a nap at 7:30 in the morning more than I did today.

We went in for our usual 6am workout with Betty.  We knew that today would suck because we were redoing our crossfit workout from Tuesday and were supposed to try and do better than we had then.  Can I just say that burpees are not any more fun now than they were two days ago.  I was sure I was going to fail miserably, but by some miracle, both Amy and I did more than we did two days ago.  I couldn't believe it. After breakfast we were scheduled to head out to the stadium to do bleachers, which I was dreading due to horrible knees, but luckily there was a lightening storm and we stayed in.  I say luckily, but it really wasn't lucky at all.  They kicked our butts even harder than I think they would have haha.

We were split into two groups.  One group went with Betty to the cardio room (with the treadmills, stairclimbers, etc) and the other group went with Mark (season 10) into the bigger room where he had set up 10 different stations that we had to do for 45 seconds each with 15 second breaks between.  These stations included things such as jump rope, rope pulls (not sure that's their technical name but if you watch the show, they hold two ends of a HUGE rope in their hands and wave them while in a squat.  Worst exercise ever behind a burpee) smash balls, wall balls, squats and lots of other fun stuff.  Including this lovely thing that Amy managed to do!!  She was basically going sideways down the ladder in a plank.  I had to do mine against the wall.

We would spend 10 minutes in one room and then switch until we'd switched 5 times.  It was TOUGH.  My first time in the cardio room I decided to be brave and chose the rowing machine.  Betty, being the lovely person that she is, gave me a goal for distance and made me STAY IN THE ROOM until I had reached it...even after everyone was done with their 10 minutes.  She's a brute but she makes me want to work hard!  Each room was hard as hell and each time I wanted to break down and cry, but we survived.  Mark's room also included some lower level box jumps, but at the end of the class, Amy and I decided to try a higher box and we both did it.  Our first box jumps ever.  We were so proud of yourselves!!!

Needless to say, we were very sweaty after all of that.  Notice the sweat line halfway down my shirt hahaha.  But as Betty likes to say... "Sweat is in style...and it's free!"

After all the hard work, Betty let us have some fun.  We split into teams and had to build a house using only 20 pieces of equipment.  My group's house won.  Helen was our exercise "Budda" sitting inside with our exercise bike in the garage on the side haha.

We were all starving at this point and got to have this amazing, but very unique lunch.  It was steak and feta pizza on gluten free pizza crust tortilla kind of things I believe.  It had a bit too much feta for MY liking but it was incredible.

We had some great lectures today surrounding our meals.  Mostly on reading labels and planning meals, but we had a really great one about planning our futures and setting some realistic goals for ourselves once we go home.  My goal(s) are to restrict myself to 1-2 treat meals a week (instead of letting it turn into 3-4 days of bad eating) and keeping my calories UNDER 1500 a day.  I had lowered my calories to 1300-1400 a few months ago and have found that by the end of the day I'm so hungry I binge and end up over 2000 easy.  So I decided to raise my number a bit and see if that helps.  Amy's going to help keep me in check!  It will really help that BLR is sending us home with a lot of awesome new recipes.  And even some for desserts! (such as the amazing chocolate creme pie we had today.

Our afternoon workouts were really tough.  At 2pm we had "Cinco Speed".  Everyone picks a cardio machine to use for the entire class which consisted of this...  warmup...2 minutes hard as you can...3 mins recovery speed...3 fast, 2 recovery, 4 fast, 1 recovery, 5 fast....and then the same thing backwards.  Holy crap.  It was so hard.  And just when I thought I was dying, she singled ME OUT.  Just me.  And made me raise my arms over my head and just use my legs as hard and fast as I possibly could for a whole minute.  (I was on the elliptical).  It was hard, but I managed it...and even did it again on my own for the very last 30 seconds.

Our last workout of the day was in the pool with the same trainer who'd done the 2pm. Her name was Anne-Marie.  She was super tough, but made sure to let us have fun in the water too.  We did some laps and some core work and then we got to play water football.  It was a blast.  Everyone was tackling each other and we got to forget that we were in pain for a while.  This group is so much fun and I'm going to miss them all when we leave!

The best part of the night was after dinner when we got the resort's bowling alley all to ourselves!!!  Most everyone said they were too sore to go and didn't want to go, but Amy and I convinced about half of them to come.  It turned out to be a lot of fun.  The guy running the alley said that most of the time no one from BLR ever shows up and he was surprised to see us haha.  I'm glad we went though.  It was a nice break.

Just to wrap things up I need to say a bit more about/to Amy.  I know I spent an hour or so saying most of this stuff to her today but I need to say it again.  This girl is such a perfectionist that when she works out on one of the hardest machines in the gym for 10 minutes she thinks she's not done well enough.  No one else challenges themselves like that.  Everyone else tends to pick the easier machines (myself included some of the time) when we know that we're going to be on it for a while.  But not Amy.  She goes balls to the wall.  EVERY TIME.  When I think I'm going to collapse, she tells me "JUST ONE MORE!"  When I feel like I can't keep up with everyone else she gets me refocused on  my OWN efforts and gets me to just push harder.  She's the first one to try something new and won't stop until she does it.  She sweats more and goes longer than anyone else here.  Anyone.  This girl is a role model to me and these things are the reason I brought her with me this week.  I could not have gotten through half these workouts without her in front of me motivating me to take a breath and just keep moving.  I am beyond proud of her accomplishments this week and am grateful for the things that she has helped ME to accomplish.  I don't know what I'd do without her and I'm so glad to know that I'll always have a friend like her to push me in the future.  Love you girl.  Be proud of yourself.  Own your accomplishments and celebrate them.  YOU...ARE...TEAM...AWESOME!!!

Biggest Loser Resort - Day 4

Wednesday was like an oreo cookie with UGHHHHH in the middle of two delicious cookies.

I did NOT get enough sleep Tuesday night, though I did sleep a bit more soundly.  But since Wednesday morning's activities are designed to give us a bit of a break from Tuesdays torture, we got an extra 15 minutes in bed.  YES!  At 6:15 we met Betty for some meditative stretching.  I was thinking yoga (which is nice but still hard).  But nope.  She had us lie down on mats...in the pitch black dark...and stretch for AN HOUR.  It was amazing and much needed.

After a filling, but kinda meh (in  my opinion) breakfast of oatmeal with chia seeds and turkey sausage...we headed for the vans for our daily outdoor activity.  Today, I was actually really excited about that.  We went to a diffferent reserve and did a 3/4 mile walk around this gorgeous pond, just talking with one another.

Then we got to play KICKBALL. How awesome is that?  We joined for the morning by Jerry and Estella from season 7 and they were so awesome!  They still look absolutely incredible.  Poor Jerry had even been hit by a car on his bike this past Monday and still played kickball with  us.  I haven't played since I was a kid.  It was competitive! hahaha.  Our good friend Melissa kept catching the damn ball to get us out though. That girl is a serious athlete.  She pushes me to go harder every day.  Love her.

After kickball we walked another loop around the pond and called it a morning.  It really was a nice break from all the hardcore ass kicking stuff we'd been doing the day before.

We headed back to the resort for more lectures.  Emotional Eating and Intuitive eating were both covered today and I needed them both.  Emotional eating is my biggest obstacle on my journey at the moment.  I struggle with it every day.  I can workout 6 days a week, but my emotional eating easily undoes everything in a meal or two of I'm not careful.  The dieticians and life coach here are SO great and have really helped me to feel like I can go home and work on this with some success.

We also had a great motivational lecture by Olivia and Hannah this morning.  It's amazing to me to see tears in their eyes as they speak about things they've said a million times.  It's always just so sincere and heart felt and I love every minute that I get to spend learning from them. (I got video clips but they don't seem to want to upload on my blog.  I'll have to find a way to share them later I guess.)

We had a delicious lunch off asian chicken wraps and I got to sit with Hannah for what was really the first time and just talk to her.  She's so fun and so real and open.  I love that they're REAL people.  Not just some camera character that they put on.

After lunch and lecture were over, I had the amazing opportunity to be interviewed on camera by Olivia for their website.  www.myfitspiration.com.   It's a company they run together and kind of how I started following them online in the first place. They put up a lot of inspirational or just fun silly videos and talk about all sorts of things.  I don't know when my clip will be put up, but it was a really neat experience to get to talk about my journey and my Jilly's Losers group on camera....where thousands of people are going to see it.  Scary too!!  But I can't wait to see it.

Hannah, Olivia and Ben headed to the airport and the rest of us headed off to workouts.  It was sad to see them go, but I'm so eternally grateful for the opportunity they gave me this week.  I will never forget it.

Our afternoon workouts were really tough.  We did a 35 minute class of various exercises.

...and then a 50 minute class of dumbells.  Can I just tell you how UNBELIEVABLY SORE we're going to be for the next two days?  We were burning out one muscle at a time, 45 reps each time and it was HARD!!!!

But then came dinner and the best part of the day (usually)....dessert.  It's amazing what you can  make with greek yogurt. This was like cheesecake heaven!

But even better than dessert was when Amy and I headed to the spa for our girls night.  Amy was sweet enough to treat me to a "Head to Toe" body treatment.  Massages, facials and pedicures.  The massages were the most heavenly, orgasmic thing ever.  We needed them so badly.  Stanley  is my new best friend.  Now if only I could do that every day!  I'd never had a facial before but it was really nice...and my feet definitely look and feel better now!  It will help me survive the rest of the week for sure and I'm so thankful that Amy gave us both that gift.

Because Thursday....it's back to hell.