285.1
Yes, you read that right. 285 point freaking 1. Given, several lbs of that are from our New Years indulgences, but at the very best I'd say I'm at 280. And that's still completely unacceptable to me. Now a lot of you will say, "But Jill, you're still 50lbs below your heaviest and that's great!" Sure...I haven't gotten back to this...
But it's extremely far from where I got in 2014...which is this...
Right now...I'm here...
...and I'm not okay with it. So as I was saying...looking over my habits of 2016, I really can't say I'm surprised to be...here. For starters, I haven't written in this blog since March of 2016. I only tracked my food on myfitnesspal.com for MAYBE half the year (and that's just a guess), and I went from exercising at least 8-10 hrs a week to 3-4 if I'm lucky...and that's only because I get paid to teach others. I have probably only spent 5 hours total in the past 2-3 months actually exercising for myself.
I'm honestly embarassed for myself. I run a weight loss group and I'm a group fitness instructor. I am NOT setting a good example for those I'm supposed to be helping and I'm ashamed of that fact. And while I am far from a couch potato, I have slipped back into a lot of the old struggles I used to have.
Teaching my classes has gotten harder. An hour of Zumba is 10 times harder than it was a year ago. Trying to show my classes proper form for certain exercises shows how out of shape I've become and makes it hard for me to push others to their own limits when MY limits are so much more quickly reached than theirs are.
My clothes don't fit. Before Cooper was born in 2014, I had gotten down to a size 16. I'm back to a 22 and because I REFUSE to spend money on bigger clothes, I've been squeezing into 20's that I had to pull out when I got pregnant. It's miserable. I went from wearing more form fitting tops, back to the baggy flowy stuff that hides my stomach, booty and thighs.
I get winded faster, I have a harder time fitting into chairs again, I eat a lot more at every meal, dessert is a daily (if not multiple times daily) thing....and the list goes on and on and on. I have truly let things get out of control.
And I think I'm finally done.
Last night I sat down with my family and we had a long, long talk. I told them I need their help if I'm ever going to get back to where I used to be...and beyond. I cannot do this alone. It wasn't so bad before baby #4, but for some reason...it's so much harder now. And my ability to tell myself no when 5 other people are enjoying pizza, cake, soda and every comfort food under the sun...is non-existant. So I enlisted the help of those I love the most.
We talked about how unhealthy we've become as a family...and I didn't mention weight. Simply the way we eat. We've gotten lazy. We ate out more in 2016 than probably any other year. Fruits and vegetables have become a scarce thing around here. And meal planning? What's that!? Anyone who knows me, knows I hate cooking. I want so badly to love it....but I just don't. I loathe it more than anything. I'd honestly rather do burpees for an hour than cook...that's how much I hate it. But most of that is just being lazy.
LAZY. That really is the one word that best describes 2016 for me. And I refuse to let 2017 be the same way.
So last night, we hashed out a plan. Every Sunday night we will sit down and plan our meals for the week. They don't have to always be super duper rabbit food healthy, but they do have to be cooked at home. Except once a week. Once a week we can order out or do whatever we want to do. I am not one for extremes or cutting things out completely that I don't think I could do without for the rest of my life. Part of the problem with cooking at home is that 3 nights a week, I'm not even home for dinner. On Tuesdays and Thursdays, I teach...and on Wednesdays, I play volleyball. So Nathan agreed to take over cooking on those 3 days and I am so very blessed to have someone who is willing to do that. The kids have even agreed to help!
We will no longer be keeping junk in the house. The candy that is still left from Christmas is in the time-lock safe to be opened once a night for everyone to have ONE PIECE before it's relocked again. And once it's gone, we're not buying anymore. No soda in the house, no candy in the house, no cakes and cookies and giant Costco danishes or muffins sitting on the counter to tempt me. At least not for a while. Dessert will be a once a week thing and it will not be something that will have leftovers for days. If it's not available to me...I can't eat it. Right?
I realize that because I have slipped back so far, I need to re-start small. Take baby steps. I'm not going to cut out complete food groups or go carb-less or eat 1200 calories a day. But I AM going to go back to what I did when it worked the first time.
Starting today, I'm going back to what works.
In 2017, I will...
1) Track my food DAILY on myfitnesspal. No excuses.
2) I will aim to keep my calorie intake below 1400 on days I don't exercise and 1600 on the days I do.
3) I will exercise FOR MYSELF at least 2 times a week. This is on top of the hours I spend teaching.
4) I will weigh in weekly with my Jilly's Losers group. No excuses.
5) I will write in my blog at least once a week, though I'd like to do it daily. However, I know that's an unrealistic goal. So...once a week.
6) I will drink 100oz of water a day
7) I will talk to others when I'm struggling instead of trying to put on a brave face and act like everything is fine.
8) I will be proud of how far I've come and not beat myself up when I do falter...because I will.
9) I will lose 5 lbs this week. (Totally doable because of water weight right now)
10) I will get back to 207lbs by 2018.
That last one is kind of a huge goal and I realize that. But it's also completely doable if I am doing what I know I'm capable of. And if I don't make it...that's fine. But I need to put it out there. I don't want to just "get there eventually". I want to get there while I'm still young enough to enjoy it.
So here's to a new year...even if I'm a bigger me to start it off. It's a much needed fresh start and I can't wait to feel better about my life...both physically and emotionally. Let's do this :)
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