I don't deserve this...

I haven't written my blog in a week and I hadn't weighed myself in 11 days. I figured sick or not..I need to do both. So after the last week of pretty much eating whatever I wanted to or whenever I wanted to (with the occasional healthy day in between) I figured I'd have gained at least 5 lbs.

Nope. I lost .8 I really don't deserve that. Maybe it's because I've been sick, I don't know. I ate healthier yesterday but still only maybe 3 times instead of 6 and I haven't worked out yet due to how I'm feeling physically. So I really really don't deserve to have lost weight! I guess I shouldn't complain..and I know this doesn't mean I should get in the habit. I know I can lose more than .8 in 11 days when I'm really trying. Just...wow.

Nathan's now left for Amsterdam. He had to go there for work and will be gone for the next 6 weeks. With him gone and the kids home from school and me sick..it's extremely stressful around here. But I'm hoping that at the very least, I'll be able to be more strict about my diet while he's gone. I'm even pondering going back on my drops, but I've only been off them for 3 weeks. I need to learn to eat right and exercise ALL the time, not just when on this diet! Otherwise what's the point?

So now if this sickness would GO AWAY, I could buckle down and get going again. I slept for 12 hours last night and still feel just as crappy. I suppose I should go eat something now.

Falling off the Wagon

So while tax refund checks are great for some reasons, they really suck for others. We got to set aside $ for our trip to vegas and get some fun things for us and the kids that we've always wanted...BUT! We also went out to eat...a lot. You know thinsg aren't going well on this diet, when I don't even bother to write a blog huh? I told myself I was going to today because part of the reason I'm doing this is to be held accountable. So this is my confession. haha.

Today started me back on my "I'm going to have ONE good day of eating the way I'm stupposed to" kick. So far I'm doing great...even cut carbs out of my breakfast as punishment haha. I haven't weighed myself, and I'm not going to until Friday. I'm hoping to drop a few of the lbs I gained over the weekend by then. It was so fun to just eat what I wanted for a few days...but at the same time...my body hated me for it. I haven't felt this BLAH or had this many stomach issues since I started this diet. I guess that'll teach me huh? Or at least I hope.

I can't help it, the Pad Thai was just SO GOOD! *sighs*

The Maintenance Gain

So today was my weigh in day and as I expected, I gained about 4 lbs. This happened last time I started maintenance too, but this time..I'd kinda cheated haha. There was about a 2 day period where I basically just ate whatever was on hand or was ordered because we hadn't been shopping. My stomach hated me for it, but my tastebuds were so happy! I'll take the 4 lbs.

Last night we went food shopping though and today it's back to the grind! Cottage cheese w/ peaches (or at least what my kids didn't steal from my bowl) for breakfast and then 45 minutes on my elliptical machine. I'm feeling good and ready to go! We bought a whole bunch of nummy AND healthy foods yesterday so no more excuses. Well okay, just one excuse. Today is my Ariana's 7th birthday so tonight we're going to Chuck E. Cheese. Enough said.

I'm still trying to avoid sugar for the most part, but I'm being a bit more flexible this time around. We bought lots of whole wheat foods like crackers and tortillas and TONS of produce! Since I'll be off this hcg diet for a few months I've decided to just slowly integrate things that are healthy for EVERYONE into our daily routines. Not just for me and Nathan. From now on my kids will only be eating whole wheat bread, for example. My 11 year old is a bit on the large side for his age and that boy can EAT! So hopefully this will help him as well. I don't want him to have to live the same life I did, with body image issues and whatnot.

So here's to another start and hopefully back on the weight loss wagon!

No food in house = CARB OVERLOAD!

Holy crap we were bad yesterday. We didn't have the time to get to the grocery store for all the produce/meat we need for this diet...so we were uh..kinda bad yesterday and ordered pizza. And that was just one meal. Sure, it was thin crust and we went light on the sauce and cheese, but still..that's a lot of carbs! THEN! Nathan went out with friends last night had MORE pizza. THEN! I ate spaghetti (only a little, but still) with my kids for dinner...and THEN...Nathan brought home a late night thing of nachos from Rancheritos *cries* They were so good....covered in steak and melted cheese..with sour cream. Oh man. All I can say is ..today is going to be a protein shake day all the way.

I feel kinda guilty but at the same time...I had to get the cravings out of the way haha. And no way am I going to weigh myself today. I already know I was bad! So today I've got to get to the grocery store and stock up so as to avoid another day like yesterday.

Man I need some fruit!

Frustration

Whatever this stomach thing is..it's starting to piss me off. It's not your typical stomach ache. The first two days, it was nausea. Today it just...hurts. It's really making it hard to eat :( I managed to eat a few eggs for breakfast and a couple slices of whole wheat toast for lunch, but I know that's nowhere near what I'm supposed to be eating throughout the day. I'm trying to at least get a protein shake or two in my system since it's the most rounded meal I'm managing to eat, but even those are proving hard at the moment. UGH! I'm just so frustrated.

I can't workout until this goes away either, which just doubley frustrates me. I know it's not the end of the world if my weight hovers for a week or two, but I want to keep losing. I'm afraid if I lose momentum, I'll lose will power and everything will have been for naught.

Unfortunately, I can't just curl up in bed like I want to. Nathan took great care of me over the weekend, but it's back to work today...and the kids started their off-track swimming lessons this morning. So it's busy busy busy and no food in the tummy. Not smart Jill. SOOOO frustrated!

So freakin' sick!

I haven't written in the past couple of days and I'm not going to write much now. The nasty cold I had, turned into some sort of stomach bug/flu that's had me unable to eat much other than some whole wheat toast. Nathan tried to make me a lean hamburger last night and it tasted so good..but halfway through my stomach started to protest. This illness is pretty much screwing up my entire diet.

Tonight's the super bowl, so we're debating making some nachos for us and the kids. IF my stomach can stand it, I may very well just eat them so that I have something in my stomach at all. But after having to end my drops 5 days early and this cold screwing up my regular diet by preventing me from eating much at all..it's hard to worry about WHAT I'm eating. Right now I'm of the mindset...get better...and THEN go back to worrying about grams of this and calories of that.

Hopefully when I weigh again next Friday I won't find that I've gained 10 lbs. It's not like I'm going to McDonald's right?

Pounds & Inches

So I just got back from seeing Maeli again for the first time in a month and I'm a bit disappointed. Since the last time I saw her, I've lost 17 lbs (I ended my hcg round early this time, which didn't help). 17 is still great, but not as great as my last round. I figured that at least my body fat % would have gone down a bunch and that I'd have lost a lot of inches on my body as well. Not so much.

I'm only down another 1.35% body fat since the last time I saw her and 10.2 inches total over my entire body. It's still a loss and she said she's proud of me, but her guess as to the reason is that the hcg I used this time around may not have been as pure a form as the kind I got from her. Maybe. I don't know. On round one, with Maeli's hcg..I lost 22 lbs, 7% body fat and 43 inches of fat from my body. Oh well, I'm going to try not to stress over it. I'm still going in the right direction. I was just hoping for some bigger numbers today.

If I choose to do a third round of hcg, it won't be for a few more months. I'm told the third round is a bit harder and sometimes the body just doesn't produce hcg as well as it did the first two times. Not to mention I'm sick of the strict diet. So I'm going to do my 3 weeks of maintenance and then work on living the lifestyle change I've made for a longer period of time. I hopped on my elliptical for 40 mins today, which is a great start. The maintenance plan Maeli has me on "should" have me losing about 1.7 lbs of fat a week she says...so that's what I'll aim for. As of today I'm hiding the scale away until next Friday. I'm only going to weigh once a week so as not to drive myself nuts!

A quick update on Nathan..he was down 2 lbs today, which was a nice break for him since he's been stalling most of the week. Today's his last day on the drops so it'll be nice to have him on maintenance with me. I may send him in to see Maeli so she can draw up a specific plan for him. She told me that men require completely diff. plans because of their metabolism..not to mention he weighs 40 lbs less than me. So we'll see.

Back to Maintenance

So today started my first day of maintenance. I'm still feeling kinda sick (though improving)..so it was still hard to eat..but it was nice to be able to have more freedom in WHAT I'm eating. Hopefully tomorrow I'll be feeling well enough to start back up on my elliptical so that I can keep the weight loss going. I'm meeting with Maeli tomorrow afternoon to have her do my measurements and whatnot. I'm curious how many inches I lost this time around, though my weightloss wasn't as great as the last time.

Nathan's still got a few more days before he can join me on the maintenance part of the diet. I'm proud of him for continuing on the drops even without me doing it. Unfortunately though he's gained .4 in the past two days and we're not sure why. Hopefully it'll go back down for his last few days. Either way, he's had a lot of success so far and he's lookin' really good.

I'll check in tomorrow with the #'s I get from Maeli! Can't wait!

To quit or not to quit...

Having 3 sick kids has finally caught up with me. I feel like rundown crap. Not actually vomiting (yet...my kids all did) but I'm pretty sick. So the question is..do I stop the drops early and work some calories back into my diet or do I push through it? Stopping the drops today, I'd still need 2 days to get them out of my system in order to avoid gaining weight back when I eat. Or I could just suck up the couple of pounds and just eat what I need to.

The stubborn part of me wants to just suck it up and keep going for a few more days, but the smart part of me knows that if I don't get some food in me, I might be sick longer than I would otherwise. But I also know that part of me just wants to quit so that I can eat. Ugh..stupid illness, why couldn't you wait a few more days! At least I was down another .8 today.