Friday, December 24, 2010

An Elephant Never Forgets....but I do.

So yesterday I was so preoccupied with stuff all day long that I completely forgot all about lunch. I had my morning snack, worked out, had breakfast....then my mid-afternoon snack then dinner and around 6:30 was like, "wow, I finished eating all my food pretty early today...." Then I thought back and realized I completely missed a meal! *sighs* I added up my calories for the day and was WAY under. I wasn't even hungry. I gotta tell ya, it is so hard to eat this much stuff. I'm just not hungry for it! But I know if I don't, my body will start storing fat all over again at the wrong times of day and this will have all been pointless. UGH!

I can't believe it's already Christmas eve! We're going to make cookies today and I purposely bought the store bought sugar cookie recipe cause I know it'll be easier to resist than the one my mom uses haha. I can go through a dozen of those in a day easily. I really am trying so hard to stick to this diet, but at the same time I don't want to overdo the stress and be miserable over the holidays because of it. I need to realize that I'm not going to undo 20 lbs. of weight loss with one unhealthy thing. No, I haven't cracked yet, but I leave for vacation tomorrow and damned if I'm going to spend the entire time eating celery. I'm going to put what I've learned into practice and eat GOOD food without going outside my guidelines and if I do have a piece of fudge, it's not the end of the world. Right?

My biggest insecurity right now is knowing I may very well have to go through one of those body scanners or get a pat down at the airport tomorrow night when I head out to Florida. Those close to me know I'm smaller than I was a month ago, but to those stupid airport people I'm still just "that big fat lady" and I'm not thrilled about my entire body image being displayed up on some screen for them to see. I am curious though to see how my weight loss affects my comfort in those tiny airplane seats. I'm curious to see how my seatbelt fits and if the person next to me is constantly shifting to try and make more room for themselves. I lost 15 inches alone in my shoulders so I know they'll have more room there at least! I hate flying, I really do. I get so self conscious about it all. At least it's a red-eye and most everyone will be trying to sleep. And hopefully since its a red-eye on Christmas night...it won't be very full. Here's hopin.

I hope you all have a wonderful holiday!! Just remember...the holidays aren't all about food, they're about family, and giving...and most importantly about our savior, Jesus Christ. Merry Christmas!

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