It really took everything I had not to just burst into tears when I got on the scale this morning. I gained another 1.4 lbs for a total of 3 since I started maintenance and while I was told weight can fluctuate between 1-4 lbs, this doesn't feel like freaking fluctuation to me. I literally feel like without the hcg in my body, it's just taking everything I put into it and saving it for a rainy day in the form of pounds. I'm terrified that after 21 days of maintenance, I will have gained back 21 lbs and be right back where I started.
Nothing is more frustrating than taking 30 years to find will power deep inside myself that allows me to FINALLY do what I've needed to do for more than 10 years now....and to do it to perfection...only to have it backfire on me. Maybe I'm overreacting too soon but it's hard not to.
I've been following the meal plan Maeli gave me as closely as I can, give or take a gram of something here and there. As I'm writing this I'm eating my breakfast, which is supposed to be the biggest meal of my day to get me started. 2 whole eggs and 3 more whites with a little sprinkling of mozzerella cheese, salt & pepper....1/2 a banana...1 container of Light Yoplait Yogurt and 1 piece of Sara Lee 45 Calorie 100% whole wheat toast with a tsp. of I can't believe it's not butter. The eggs are the hardest to eat...it's a lot, but I know the protein is important to get my day going and to keep burning fat.
The only area I failed in yesterday was with my water intake. My mind was just kept so occupied that I kept spacing refilling my bottle and only drank about 40 oz. However, I spent 45 mins. on my elliptical machine the past two mornings and burned almost 400 calories each time. So what the crap is the deal with my body!! My intake is barely around 17-1800 calories, I'm burning 400 exercising, I'm not eating any refined sugars and just sitting here doing nothing all day, at my weight..my body burns like 2600 calories just existing! SO WHAT THE HELL!
I guess all I can do is keep doing the best I can and keep working out and hope that my body adjusts and that the weight starts coming back off, because if I go back up to 330 lbs, while eating a HEALTHY diet AND exercising...I'm pretty sure I'll just say screw it and stop bothering.
So come on stupid body! DO YOUR JOB!
(added note: Maeli just called and I'm going to go in for another pinch test to see what's really going on instead of going by the scale. I know I put too much weight (pun intended) on what those numbers read. Maeli says if anything, I'm not eating ENOUGH. GAH!)
Poor baby! You'll be here soon and I'll give you a huge hug! Maybe while your not on HCG you should only weight yourself once a week so you're not on a rollercoaster everyday. It could be a combination of no drops, eating more calories and starting exercise all at the same time...who knows. But weight loss comes down to calories in, calories out so keep it up!
ReplyDeleteOh Jill! I'm sorry! That is so frustrating! I hope you get good news during your appt with Maeli.
ReplyDeleteJill don't forget with all your workouts, you can be gaining muscle which causes weight gain - focus on how many inches you lose! You are doing remarkable! I am sooo proud of you!
ReplyDeleteYou're doing great Jill!!! Seriously, you are. I'm confused with Maeli's diet though. Though I realize everyone does protocol a little differently, I wasn't allow ANY carbs or sugar for the 1st 3 weeks of maintenance. I just can't fathom how you're allowed to have bread of all things. I realize it's the Sara Lee, but still. Perhaps, this could be causing a stall/gain?
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